I started college an average size 16 now adding canteen food and alcohol into the mix. I still had a good social life and my fair share of boyfriends so I can’t have been that bad, or so I tried to convince myself but as anyone who has battled with a weight issue can tell you, you can learn to cry internally until it breaks your heart.
As the weight goes on so the differences start to appear between yourself and those around you. Paignton being a seaside resort provides some great opportunities, waterskiing, windsurfing all great until you come face to face with a wet suit, this was when I first learnt to think fast on my feet. “I know I really should wear one but being short, everything sits in the wrong place so maybe I’m better off without, thanks”. Phew, I never did have to squeeze myself into one, but I never got to be like everyone else, a black shiny woman from head to toe!!!
Life continued much in the same vein, I got through college and started to work, working shifts. Great for my social life but not for watching your weight. Working at 6am in the morning meant finishing at 2pm leaving many hours for clubbing and celebrating.
By this time I was in my early twenties and experiencing physical relationships with men. I wish Kim Catrell had been around with sex in the City back in the 80's maybe things would have been different but they weren’t so this is a journey into my early sex life.
'I arrived at my boyfriends house, well his parents, we snook upstairs and he has a fumble through his David Bowie collection we start kissing, he moves his hand down my body and I start to panic. What do I worry about first, my granny knickers or the roll of fat above them. I could have been the original Bridget Jones. As quick as a flash I get up and turn the light off, at least that way he doesn’t have to see the state of me. We get into bed. I think i'
ve got away with it, we seem to be having a good time, get carried away with things until he suddenly jokes that its like having sex with a sack of potatoes. Whoever said you take these moments forward into life knew what they were talking about. It was a long time before I let myself become involved in another physical relationship again and sadly his voice has echoed in my ears on several occasions since.